5 Tips to Help You Find Joy When You Feel Like Getting Angry
Everyone struggles with anger in some way, shape, or form. Moms are not immune. Let's get real. Our kids have an amazing ability to push our buttons. They seem to be naturally able to get under our skin and often bring out the worse in us. I'm pretty sure no mom is immune.
Throw in a little marital strife, dysfunction in other relationships, financial stress, feeling overwhelmed at home or work–any combination of these things can bring us to our breaking point where anger emerges.
There are so many factors that play into our inability to control our anger, especially with the ones we love and care about the most. I think that is what frustrates me the most. I love my kids beyond words, so why would I ever lash out at them? It's almost as if my “mama bear” instincts get hijacked by my anger.
[Tweet ” It's almost as if my “mama bear” instincts get hijacked by my anger. #findingjoy”]
Do You Struggle With Mommy Anger?
If your answer is “yes,” first and foremost, know you are not alone! There are so many factors that play into our anger.
- Unmet Expectations
- Unrealistic Expectations
- & More!
Any of these things can affect our ability to experience joy–and instead see the bubbling up of our anger.
Finding Joy When You Are Angry
Parenting is hard! Really, really hard! We are sinners raising sinners in a fallen world. Our kids will be perfect when we are perfect–in heaven. We need to be on our knees praying for God's direction as parents and for His forgiveness when we mess up. We will mess up in our parenting, just like our kids will mess up. We need to give ourselves grace–and remember that our kids need grace from time-to-time, too.
Here are a few things that help me when I start getting frustrated and can feel my anger brewing:
- Start your day in the Word! This may seem obvious, but so often I find myself snapping at my kids and realize that I haven't even spent any time in the Word that day. It's doesn't make my kids misbehavior disappear, but time in prayer and in the Bible really helps me to remember to lean on Jesus for strength.
- Give Yourself a Time-Out! This really helps me. Sometimes I need to take a moment and walk out of the room to calm down. I've actually been known to say, “I'll be right back. I need to calm down before I say something I don't want to say.”
- Remember that We're Their Role Model! This one kills me! Nothing like yelling at your kids to stop yelling. I've done that. It almost makes me laugh! Take a moment and remember that your response is supposed to be modeling to them how to respond in frustrating situations.
- Smile & Fake It! Ha! Do you like that one? When I feel like I'm going to lose it, sometimes I say a silent prayer and just decide to smile. Smiling is a choice! Joy is a choice! How we chose to respond in situations is a choice! So, even when I feel like raising my voice, I choose to smile.
[Tweet ” Smiling is a choice! Joy is a choice! How we chose to respond in situations is a choice! #findingjoy”]
- Laugh! Okay, this one is kind of like #4, but a bit different. I've found that when I step back from the situation for a moment many times I can see the humor in the whole thing–or at least the humor in the insanity of motherhood! Sometimes I laugh and cry all at the same time.
Resources for Mommy Anger
- Triggers: Exchanging Parents' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses by my friends Amber Lia and Wendy Speake is an incredible book! I highly recommend it.
- Temper Tool Kit by Lisa-Jo Baker is incredible. This is a video course that has “a collection of practical strategies, honest stories, and Biblical resources from one mom to another to help you take control of your temper BEFORE you lose it.” Sounds great, right. Check it our HERE. Or just click on the cute graphic! 🙂
- Pitching' a Fit: Overcoming Angry and Stressed-Out Parenting by Israel and Brook Wayne is another wonderful resource. I hope you will check it out.
How do you find joy when you are angry? I'd love to hear from you. Just comment below.
Other Posts You Might Like:
- How to Talk Back When Your Kids Backtalk
- Parenting a Strong-Willed Child: Part 1–How I Learned to “Stop! Drop! & Roll!”
- Parenting a Strong-Willed Child: Part 2–Practical Parenting Advice
Hope you were encouraged! Know you are not alone! The struggle is real.
Blessings and joy,