Welcome to the Simply Joyful Podcast
Episode #19 with Pam Farrel
Making Marriage Fun! Crazy, Awesome Advice to Make Your Marriage Last!
Ma-widge! Any Princess Bride fans out there? Ha! We love that movie. One of our favorite iconic moments is when the priest says “marriage” with a weird accent. Well, today, that's what we are talking about! Marriage! & boy, oh boy, have I got a fun episode for you. Pam and I get laughing so hard on this episode. Pam shares some crazy, awesome advice about building a marriage that will last. You are going to love it. We also talk about hard things like divorce and the effect it has had on our lives as kids.
Be prepared for a really fun episode! The tips that Pam shares are going to bless your marriage!
On a “Simply” & “Joyful” side note…
Pam says to make romantic rituals. Place some things in your life that are just habits that keep you in love. Look for time during the day that you can be alone with your spouse—even if it’s 10-15 minutes throughout the day.
Me and Pam! (The day I tried not to go totally fan-girl on her!) Ha!
In This Episode
Pam has been an inspiration to me for a long time now. Not only is she an author that I admire and a speaker I enjoy listening to, but she is also just a hoot. She is so much fun! I’ve known Pam for a couple of years, but I was her fangirl a long time. I’m so happy to finally have her one the podcast! In this episode we talk about sex and marriage (so if you have little ears around, you'll want to make sure that you're in another room or have your ear buds in!) I loved chatting with Pam—at one point in the episode, she has me laughing so hard I was crying! I know that you'll glean lots from this episode. You are going to LOVE this episode!
Here are a few fun quotes from this episode. Please feel free to “click to tweet” (below) or share the images below on social media.
Highlights from the Show . . .
—Pam shares about her husband and their ministry Love Wise. She shares a little behind the story of her and her husband love story (they met at a leader's conference!) She also shares a little about her #crazymidlifeadventure (in which they sell their house and buy a boat!)
Love comes in seasons, and if you’re open to whatever God wants to do in the next season of your life, and the next season of your love, it can be a great fun adventure to go on together. —Pam Farrel
—I ask Pam to share a little more about her and her husband’s ministry. Pam says her ministry and her marriage are pretty close to the same “age” with only two weeks difference—and those two weeks were her honeymoon!
Often it’s just the busyness of life that pulls couples apart. Just not being proactive and protecting their love. —Pam Farrel
Divorce is epidemic in our world, and when a husband and wife breakup it fractions a family. —Pam Farrel
—Pam and I both share stories of growing up as a divorce family. No matter if you’re 4 or 19, it’s hard on the kids.
Take divorce out of your vocabulary. Don’t let it even be an option on the table. Look for every other way that you can—not just to hang together and be miserable, but to hang together to be happy. What do you need to do today to bring that joy and happiness into your life not only for yourself but for your family as well? —Pam Farrel
—I share about my godparents, and their 60 year marriage.
What is the secret and longevity to marriage? Commitment and compromise. —Kristi Clover
Pure Grit and Determination. —Pam Farrel
—I ask Pam to share a little about her book Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti—which is being re-released and expanded for its anniversary! Pam shares about how the book got its title (it has to do with kids eating Egos) and a little about where the idea for the book came from.
When your guy has too many “boxes” open one or two things can happen. That guy is either going to fire up and become angry or he’s just going to shut the conversation down and escape to one of his favorite boxes (like the garage). —Pam Farrel
All we did was say “yes” to God. —Pam Farrel
Men like to live in, dwell in, camp out in, boxes they feel super successful in and totally avoid boxes they don’t feel successful in. —Pam Farrel
We women just tend to be impatient listeners. What we need to do is just stay in that box and become a great listener. —Pam Farrel
. . .let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger —James 1:18 ESV
—I chat a little about when I was first married and calling Steve my “best friend” but not really feeling it—and what happened to change that feeling.
—I ask Pam to explain the subtitle of her book “Understand and delighting in your differences”
“I have gaps, she has gaps, we all have gaps.” is actually really good relationship advice! —Pam Farrel
—I ask Pam what she thinks are the biggest pits or ruts that marriages fall in to. Pam talks about stress and how men and women deal with stress differently. Women talk it out, while men go to comfortable boxes.
The “sex box” (bed) is like the free square on the middle of a bingo card and he can get there from every other square on the card. BINGO. —Pam Farrel
—We chat about Pam’s new book, Red Hot Monogamy, and I share a funny story (which I also shared in episode 7) about the day I purchased Pam’s book from the Christian book store (that poor employee). This is why I now shop online for books.
You guys literally wrote the book on sex. — Kristi Clover
—Pam shares the backstory on Red Hot Monogamy—it has me laughing so hard I’m crying!
When our hearts are connected with our husband we are more likely to want to give him our body. —Pam Farrel
—Pam shares a little bit about what her marriage has looked like over the years.
It is a decision of the will. —Pam Farrel
—Pam shares about the power of growing up in a culture where you chose to focus on the goodness of God no matter what, and how that kind of family culture produces confidence.
Also, be sure to visit the Love-Wise website for tons of freebies to put love in your marriage!
Want more of Pam? Try out these great books:
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A Special Thanks to…
Rend Collective for allowing me to use their incredible song “The Joy of the Lord is My Strength.” This song has so much special meaning to me and it highlights the theme verse for my podcast — Nehemiah 8:10. Be sure to check out their music! They are such a fun band to listen to…and to see live.
Connect with Pam Farrel…
Pam Farrel is the author of 45 books, founder and director Love-wise , and co-author with husband of over 25 years of bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti. Pam and Bill are the parents of 3 active children, ages 20 to 26 and have been working with couples their entire adult life. To relax, they enjoy cheering for their sons at sporting events, reading, and exercising together…especially when it consists of kayaking or a long walk at the beach.
Connect with Kristi…
I hope you enjoyed this week's podcast! My prayer is always that you will be blessed and encouraged by each episode.
Blessings and joy,